Sunday, November 13, 2011

Discussing Infidelity on Sebuleni by Carole Mandi (NTV)

Carole Mandi on this particular show is discussing a quite sensitive issue yet one that cannot be ignored, and that's infidelity. Dr. Harts, who's a renown phychologist and a major newspaper columnist on relationship matters is her guest.

The audience gives different opinions, trying to explain reasons why couples cheat. Some point out negligence from one of the partners as the cause. Others attribute it to financial reasons. And many others. Dr. Harts observes the root cause root as quite different from these views.

Briefly, lets dive into statistics. Dr. Harts states that according to research, 60% of men and 40% of women have admitted to have strayed in relationships. If this shocks you, what you're about to hear will shock you even more. He goes on to stay that over 80% percent of people are bound to stray. He explains that the simple cause is that 'this is how we're wired'. Meaning, this number of men and women would readily stray, if only, an opportunity was there.

We know infidelity as the major cause of divorce, yet studies show that children do best in a monogamous kind of relationship between parents.

On the other hand, statistics have also that in Kenya, the new number of HIV infections is higher among married couples. As a matter of fact, among the guests in the show is a married couple, living positively with HIV. This is quite a disturbing reality. The show went on presenting different perspectives and this really got me thinking.

What's the solution?
As much as a human being will be tempted to get attracted to the wrong person, we also have a free will to choose. The expert view is fully supported in the holy bible for instance, which states that we're always at opposition from our own human nature, which pushes us to want to do the wrong thing.

One of the practical choices we'll have to make is avoiding opportunities that may present vulnerable situations. If you're committed to your family, you'll definitely plan to make this choice.

As a spiritual person, I know that am not only accountable to my wife but to God first. My pastor made this statement in his message, that our desire for spiritual things must supersede our desires for natural things. Having this in mind will guide you in the decisions you make, including what you plan to do or not do because of what you believe.

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